Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
by LeighKelly
Summary: Brittany and Santana's 313th wedding anniversary on Halloween is interrupted by a letter granting them custody of their teenage niece Sugar. Sabrina the Teenage Witch AU.


As the bright red of the blood moon streams through blinds deliberately left open, Brittany's knees begin to jiggle, and her body shakes in excitement. Scowling at the old black cat who often insists on sleeping at the foot of the bed, she rolls onto her side, looking at the serene face of her wife, who once managed to sleep while the Battle of Lexington raged on just outside of their old stone house. But if there's one thing she knows Santana can't sleep through, it's her kisses, and Brittany starts at the crown of her head, kissing along her hairline, then over her cheekbones and nose. By the time she reaches her chin, she's well aware that Santana is awake, but she doesn't stop her game, purposefully avoiding her lips as she kisses her shoulder, her clavicle, the hollow of her throat—

"If that damn animal is in here, you better not go any further than that." Santana growls, though she laughs as she says it, eyes opening, and flickering in the red moonlight.

"I told you we should have sent him to live with Mercedes _centuries_ ago." Brittany rolls her eyes, and lets Santana pull her down to kiss her mouth.

"I can hear you, you know." Kurt huffs from the floor, kneading the blanket in front of him with his paws, and yawning wide.

"We know. You always can." Santana rolls her eyes, still kissing Brittany. "Get out of here, no one wants you around."

"Quit talking to me like I'm a cat." He arches his back, and stalks toward the door.

"You _are_ a cat." Brittany points her finger, zapping his tail for good measure. When he scurries out of the room, she zaps the door shut, and makes sure the lock is turned. "Now, where were we?"

"I think you were kissing _right here_." Santana points to her most sensitive spot just below her ear, and Brittany obliges, sucking the thin skin into her mouth. "This is why I married you."

"I thought you married me because I rescued you from the clutches of old Billy Stoughton."

"Well, that…but also because you're a _bewitching_ kisser."

"You're doing puns already? It's only midnight." Brittany sticks out her tongue.

"And it's Halloween…and our anniversary…" Santana hums, arching up as Brittany dips her head lower, and brings her hand up under her t-shirt to cup her left breast. "Some lucky wake up."

"Some lucky three-hundred-and-thirteen years."

"The luckiest."

After making _each other_ lucky, Brittany and Santana fall back to sleep, and it's Santana who wakes first in the morning. Leaving Brittany in her blissful state of naked slumber, Santana slips out of bed, and quickly zaps herself into a robe and slippers, and goes down to the kitchen to start breakfast. To her ire, Kurt is on the counter again, and though she threatens both death by fire and the dreaded water bottle, he stays put, swishing his tail around and moaning about the familial obligations for the high holiday, while Santana flicks her finger and scrambles eggs on the stove. She's just about finished making Brittany's breakfast in bed, when the toaster pops, and a red letter slides out onto the counter.

"What did you do now?" She rolls her eyes at Kurt. "If you get any more time added to your sentence, you're out for good. And you know what that means…"

" _Nooo!_ " He cries out, a combination of a screech and a mewl, and Santana chuckles to herself, imagining Kurt spending the rest of his days with Mercedes and Mike's kids chasing him around, pulling his tail, and probably, knowing them, riding around on him. "Not the kids! Not the kids!"

"Should have thought about that before you—" Santana opens the letter, and furrows her brow. "Oh, it wasn't you. It's Sugar."

"Yes, please!" Kurt licks around his furry mouth, in the way that makes Santana want to gag, and she shoos him away.

"Sugar our niece. It's a letter from the Witches Council. Why am I telling you this?"

"Because I'm going to listen outside the door when you tell Brittany anyway?"

"If it didn't involve fresh pig's blood, I'd have done a soundproofing spell on our bedroom back when Lincoln was president."

"Please, you like that I snoop."

"No, I _don't_. And I don't like that when I'm trying to get my mac on with Britts, you're all up in my business."

"Trust me." He gags like he's about to cough up a hairball. "No one wants to be part of that less than me."

Getting the eggs onto a plate, Santana hurries up the stairs with the letter in her other hand. When she gets to the bedroom, she closes and locks the door behind her, and she sits down on the edge of the bed, looking between her wife's peaceful face, and the letter that's probably set to change their lives. They'd had a sneaking suspicion since she was born that it would come someday, and with Sugar's sixteenth birthday tomorrow, they probably should have expected it would actually be _today_. But apparently it had taken the Witches Council over a decade and a half to track down Brittany's brother and his mortal wife, and they'd half-hoped when they did, they'd let him get away with breaking the cardinal rule of the Other Realm: No marrying mortals.

"Britt." Santana whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I know I promised I'd let you sleep late today, but you've gotta wake up."

"Nuh-uh. You promised if we went one more round, you'd let me sleep until noon."

"I made you break-fast." She singsongs, holding the plate under Brittany's nose until she reluctantly opens her eyes.

"It's a double holiday. Why are you always up so early?" Brittany groans, pushing herself to sit up, and wrapping the blanket around her naked body.

"Because I hate sleeping late." Santana shrugs. "We got a letter from the Witches Council."

"What did Kurt do now?" Brittany huffs, and Santana has to laugh, thinking how three-hundred-and-thirteen years together has really made them rub off on each other.

"It wasn't him this time. It's about a custody hearing for Sugar."

"They threw the book at him." She rakes her hands through her hair, concern crossing her features. "And they won't let her stay with her mother."

"I'm sorry, Britt." Santana wraps her arms around her wife, feeling sympathy for her internal struggle over her brother's punishment.

"We knew it might happen." Brittany shakes her head. "It's fine. It's just…a sixteen-year-old, Santana. We decided not to have kids, and now…I don't want you to feel like we have to do this."

"She's family, baby. We talked about this, when we thought it might be a possibility right after she was born, and I haven't changed my mind about being okay with it. Are you not?"

"No, no. It's Sugar, she's a good kid. As far as teenagers go, we're probably getting lucky that she's the one we're going to get. I just don't want you to look back and, like…resent me that your mid-three-hundreds were spent raising a kid."

"Hey." Santana points to the bed, making a single white lily appear there, before picking it up and handing it to Brittany. "I'm pretty sure I swore in our marriage vows that nothing would ever make me resent you. I love Shug, and most of all, I love you. Maybe we were wrong not wanting to have kids, and maybe this'll be really good for us."

"You know how much time we're going to have to spend with mortals?" Brittany groans. "We're going to have to send her to _high school_. And go to teacher conferences, and bake sales, and, like…chaperone school dances or something."

"We used to hang out with mortals, remember?"

"The last time we hung out with mortals, they were hunting us, remember? The 1690s were not good years."

"Babe, you met _me_ in the 1690s. Sometimes, _good_ things come out of hanging around with mortals, right?"

"Everyone always thinks I'm the sap." Brittany laughs, kissing Santana's lips. "And you're right, I'm sorry. I wasn't even considering _not_ taking her. I just wanted to complain about the mortal thing for like…a minute."

"I love you, you know."

"Oh, I do know." Brittany kisses her hand, and reaches over to grab the plate of eggs. "Share?"

"Always."

They share breakfast in bed, and then they know that they have to go to the Other Realm, before Sue, the head of the Witches Council absolutely _loses_ it on them for taking so long to get there. While Brittany zaps herself into jeans and a sweater, Santana goes for the most conservative dress she owns. It's not like Sue doesn't _know_ them, but she figures she should just…make some kind of impression or something. Brittany puts her hand on the small of her back as they enter the linen closet, and for some unknown reason, Kurt insists upon tagging along, jumping up into Santana's arms just before she closes the door.

Despite her own love for Halloween, Brittany has to roll her eyes at the cheesy party store decorations that adorn the Other Realm, but Santana, as always, is charmed by them. It's been a joking bone of contention in their home since the early eighties, when party stores began popping up all over the place. Brittany, the traditionalist, has always wanted to keep their home decorated with the antiques they've gathered over the years, including a few _real_ bones, but Santana, ready to jump on the next trend, constantly comes home with plastic skulls and glitter pumpkins and bat garland. They've managed to come to some sort of compromise, at least, but it does still make Brittany laugh and-slash-or cringe every time Santana gets excited about knockoff decorations.

"Brittany! Santana!" Sue's voice booms over the tones of a xylophone from somewhere up above, and while Santana jumps, Brittany just pulls a face, having gotten used to Sue's penchant for dramatic entrances after far too many visits to this office. "You may enter!"

Because she knows Santana always gets nervous in the presence of Sue—particularly after she witnessed firsthand her turning Kurt into a cat, after his failed attempt at world domination—Brittany takes her wife's hand, and leads her back through a plasticized spider web, and into Sue's chambers. Inexplicably wearing a white judicial wig, Sue sits at a podium, tapping her watch to remind them of their delay in getting to their hearing. Kurt, for his part, hisses at her, then quickly buries his furry head in Santana's shoulder, remembering that, perhaps, he shouldn't have done that.

"Sue." Brittany speaks in monotone, wishing she could hiss out years of pent up anger over Sue and the Witches Council watching their every move, as a result of Kurt's plans, and her brother's indiscretion. "Happy Halloween."

"Yes, thank you for reminding me that I'm _working_ on a high holiday because your brother couldn't follow the rules. I started at six-am, sentencing him to one-hundred years in the book. You can look him up under Pierce, Brian, by the way. And now, let me settle the issue of the child. Pierce, Sugar, age fifteen and three-hundred-sixty-four days. Half witch, half…mortal." Sue sniffs with derision. "At the stroke of midnight on the first of November 2017, the child will come into possession of her powers. At such time, her connection with the mortal mother will be severed, and as her father is otherwise…preoccupied, that leaves the question of who will care for her, and educate her in the ways of the Other Realm. Of which—"

"We'll take her!" Santana announces, though both she and Brittany are well aware that Sue hates when she doesn't let her finish. "Just…trying to get you out of here early."

"Oh." Sue rolls her eyes. "How kind of you to let me go thirty-seconds early on a day I wasn't supposed to be here anyway."

"Like you have a life." Kurt snickers into Santana's sleeve.

"What was that? Fifty more years?"

"No!" He whines, jumping from Santana's arms to Brittany's.

"Watch it then. So, you both agree to the custody terms?" Sue unravels a scroll that hits Santana's foot, and she looks at Brittany alarmed.

"Oh, just sign it." Brittany shakes her head. "You know it's always full of the dumbest things. Six paragraphs on the fact that we have to _feed_ her."

"Where is she going to stay? We have the get the bedroom ready. That'll take us…at least five minutes. I already _know_ you won't agree on doing something super trendy and—"

"Babe." Brittany bites back a smile. "Honestly, not everything has to be trendy and modern. We could do a really nice—"

"Hello?" Sue taps her imaginary wristwatch. "Not getting any younger around here."

"We _know_." Santana sucks her teeth, and grabs the pen, beginning to sign her name on the obscenely long document. "We had to you to your thousandth birthday party like…six years in a row. "There!"

"And _done._ " Brittany signs her name neatly, right beside Santana's left-handed scrawl.

"Effective midnight tonight, this court grants you permanent legal custody of one Sugar Motta Pierce. Now, get the hell out of my office."

Santana scurries to the door much faster than Brittany, and when lightning strikes, they're transported back through their linen closet. Kurt jumps down from Brittany's arms and scampers off, and Santana and Brittany are left standing in the hallway across from one of the empty bedrooms in their old Victorian mansion. They share a glance, and Brittany steps forward first, pushing the door open. The room is home to a musty old collection of things, gathered across centuries, but the big window with a bench makes her almost wistful that it's never been used. Brittany's brother had Sugar, Santana's half-sister has three little girls, but they'd decided two centuries ago that it was easier just to pretend the Other Realm technology that would have given them a child that combined their DNA just wasn't for them. But now here they stand, on their three-hundred-thirteenth anniversary, signed on to legal custody of a sixteen-year old girl, in just fourteen hours.

"Do you ever regret it?" Santana murmurs, looking into Brittany's clear blue eyes.

"I don't. Do you?"

"No." She shakes her head. "We've traveled all seven continents. We've _met_ nearly everyone any history book worth anything names. And we've loved each other a lot. I don't think a _baby_ was ever in our cards. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I love the life I've had with you."

"We sound like we're old and grey." Brittany laughs, shaking out her long blonde hair.

"Don't you ever say that again." Santana cocks an eyebrow. "We made a deal, we're never getting old."

"I'm kind of…okay with it though, you know? I mean, as long as it's with you. I'd sooner die than spend my life a miserable old bat like Sue who marries herself."

"I'm not going anywhere, you know. Don't they say if you don't get sick of someone in the first hundred years, then you'll never get sick of them?"

"Probably. But I'm way too much fun for you to get sick of." Brittany teases. "And you're not so bad yourself."

"Do we know anything at _all_ about teenagers?"

"I know that they sneak out against their father's express commands and rescue pretty girls from witch trials."

"It _would_ be my luck that I was the only _actual_ witch who ended up on trial."

"It took you about two-hundred years to actually learn how to be sneaky." Brittany laughs, tucking a lock of Santana's hair behind her ear. "Although I've gotta say, I _am_ grateful that you're unbearably honest."

"Like you're not? People just always seem to think you're kidding."

"It's the blonde thing. But really…I don't think teenagers are hard. Especially now. Can't we just buy her a phone with buy her a phone with a tracker thing, and be fine? We don't even have to use a spell, they _want_ those fancy technological things." Brittany wrinkles her nose, and Santana laughs at her dislike of them.

"I'd tell be getting in touch with you by carrier pigeon if I didn't force you to have a cellphone."

"I hate it. Plus, Kurt prank calls me almost every hour, even when he's sitting right next to me. His paws couldn't tie a message to a pigeon if we did it that way, and he definitely couldn't use a telegraph either."

"So _obviously_ I get to be the cool aunt. Maybe we should get her a new iPhone as a birthday gift?"

"Nope. No way." Brittany shakes her head. "It's her sixteenth birthday. She gets a magic book, a cauldron and the old hat that's been passed down in my family since the hundreds."

"So then should I expect spider's legs for my anniversary gift tonight?" Santana chides, and a mischievous look crosses Brittany's face.

"Babe! Why are you ruining the surprise?" She pulls her close, and rubs her nose against Santana's, husking, "Legs might be part of the surprise, but I promise you, there are only two of them."

Groaning, Santana sighs, "You're going to make me wait all day for that?"

"After we do this bedroom, I _have_ to get some pig's blood."

"Why do you—" Santana starts, then realizes the urgent necessity of a sound proofing spell. "Right. Good plan."

"Hmm." Brittany hums, kissing Santana. "I'll make a lot of sacrifices, but sweet lady kisses aren't one of them. And since you're inexplicably squicked out by pig's blood, more than any of the weird shit we've seen, I'll do the spell."

"Obviously this is why I love you."

"Is that the only reason?"

"You know it's not. But it's definitely going on top of the list now."

Together, they go into the spare bedroom, and while Brittany zaps their junk into the basement, Santana conjures the old furniture out of it. Maybe it's not even close to what she'd choose, but she'll let Brittany win this one…for now, until she gets an afternoon with Sugar at the mall so she can choose some of her own things. She may not know a lot about kids, but she figures being ripped out of her home is probably going to be traumatic, so the more they can do to make it _feel_ like home, the better. And truth be told, Santana is a little _excited_ about having a teenager move in, especially one like Sugar. She's spent the weekend with them before, and even when they were under strict rules not to use their magic, they had fun with her. And _now_ , knowing that they're going to be helping Sugar get used to her own is even more thrilling.

Once the room is done, Brittany goes downstairs to take a phone call from her mother. The _one_ downside to having been married on the happiest day of the entire year is the fact that they _never_ just get to celebrate their anniversary without a dozen family obligations, but somehow, they always manage to make up for it. This year too is better, Santana thinks, because it's Brittany's family's year, and she doesn't have to deal with her grandmother asking when she's going to get married, despite _knowing_ full well that she's married to Brittany, and she doesn't have to hear her sister needle her about when they're going to have kids. Brittany's family is more _interesting_ , sure, with her mother-in-law full of a eight-hundred years worth of wildly inappropriate stories that mortify Brittany, but they're not critical, and Santana is certain that even though Brittany won't say it, she prefers being with them too.

"Apparently." Brittany huffs, coming up the stairs and into the bedroom where Santana checks her e-mail. "Sue neglected to tell us that Sugar's been at Mom's for three days, and my brother and Caroline already had a whole conversation with her about how she's coming to live with us. Do these people ever even keep us in the loop about anything? I mean, I don't blame Carolina, because she's been shipped off to an archeological dig in Peru, but the Magic Book was right on the dresser. Brian could have gotten in touch with me…and don't get me started on Mom. I think she was hoping we never found out, so she could keep Shug and raise her to tell graphic stories about the conception of her children right in the middle of Halloween dinner."

"Still not letting it go?" Santana teases a little. "It was two-hundred and fifty years ago."

"If your mom told a story like that, would you ever let it go?"

"If my mom told a story like that, I'd probably be impressed that she actually stopped doing the old Lopez sweet everything under the rug shtick. God, babe, I'm so glad we don't have to go to my boring family this year. And it's good Sugar already knows, no? I mean, we don't have to inflict trauma on her on _Halloween_ of all days."

"I guess…" Brittany pouts, having been left out of the loop of family things for most of her life, "I just feel bad, like… _oh, you're going to live with Aunt Britt and Aunt Banana, but they can't be bothered to pick you up for three days_. Kinda messed up."

"You know you're the only one who still calls me _Aunt Banana_ , right? Sugar outgrew that like…ten years ago."

"I know, but it's cute, and _you're_ cute, so whatevs." Brittany shrugs, then starts laughing. "Sorry, I said I wouldn't pick up hip lingo anymore after the time I told the mailman to bag his face…but I like _whatevs_."

"You are also very cute." Santana kisses her nose. "So does your mom want us to come early and talk to Sugar about what's going on?"

"I guess so, I mean, as far as she knows until tomorrow, Caroline is just in Peru of her own accord, and Brian is working in Indonesia, so she's staying here a few months. Once she knows she's a witch, we're gonna have to have the whole talk, but I guess I'd feel better if we talked to her before the party."

"At least she still thinks it's weird that we love Halloween…for her, it would be way worse if it was Christmas. She's the only witch besides you who is _obsessed_ with Christmas." Santana laughs, and puts her arms around Brittany, until Kurt interrupts them by jumping onto the bed.

"Don't forget how much I love Christmas!" He mewls.

"No. One. Cares. Do you really have to interrupt every one of our conversations, and get your hair all over our bed? Some of us sleep there you know."

"Some of us more than sleep there." Brittany whispers into Santana's ear, loud enough for Kurt to hear. "I know Kurt loves curling up in our lady juice."

"Oh my Goddess, babe, never say that again!" Santana pulls a face, but Kurt immediately jumps down, moaning and groaning about how disgusting they are.

"Totally worked though, didn't it?" A smirk crosses Brittany's face, and Santana can't help but do the same. "I'm sorry we're gonna have to cancel our pre-family dinner plans. I know how much we were looking forward to doing Venus tonight."

"Venus'll always be there, Britt. It's not like it's Pluto, going in and out of being a planet all the time. This year we'll celebrate by being…legal guardians to a teenager. It's totally good, I promise."

"Seriously though, have I ever told you _really_ how much I love you? I mean, really _really_?"

"We've been married over three centuries, you definitely have told me a _lot_ of times, and you definitely told me like…four and a half this morning?"

"I think it was more than four and a half." Brittany winks, trailing her fingers down Santana's side. "And I'm pretty much gonna get the pigs blood like…first thing after we send her to school tomorrow morning. I'll tell you one thing, babe, having a kid will _not_ wreck havoc on our sex life."

"Britt? I never expected that it would. I still feel like I'm eighteen when I'm with you."

"And you don't even _look_ a day older."

"Charmer." Santana scrubs her face with her hands to wash away the heat from it.

"Oh, I've got charms, but that one's just the truth." Brittany winks. "Listen, I think we should look up Brian. I just, like, feel like I need to yell at him before we get Shug, mostly because he didn't get in touch with me. Are you cool with that? Seriously, I promise that our whole anniversary won't be me dealing with my family."

"Hey, we both knew that was going to happen when we got married on the most sacred holiday of the year. This one is just…a little more hectic than usual, but it's totally fine. I'll get the book."

Going into their closet, Santana lifts the big Magic Book that she'd already put away onto the stand. She steps back and watch Brittany face the thing, understanding how hard it has to be for her to find her brother there, especially because they were both completely on board when he got married, despite knowing the consequences if Sue and the Witches Council managed to find him despite his concealment spell, and refusal to use magic in Sugar's presence since the day she was born. Brittany's brow furrows, and she licks her finger, letting half the pages of the book flip by, until she lands on page five-hundred-thirty-eight, where Brian Pierce, in all his warlock glory, blinks up at them.

"Nice of you to let me know, Bri." Brittany rolls her eyes. "It'd have been nice to hear what happened from you, or _at least_ Mom, rather than a letter in my toaster this morning."

"Happy Halloween to you too, Sis. Santana, you're looking well."

"Thanks, Brian." Santana flushes, hating when the two of them argue, and Brian tries to charm her. "But really, she's right. Sugar's been waiting for us for days?"

"I just assumed Mom would tell you." He rolls his eyes, looking strikingly like his sister. "She was _there_ when I told Shug I had to leave for work. _I_ have been a little busy…living in a book and all."

"All the more time to get in touch with us." Brittany mutters, and Santana puts her hand on the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, Britt, and you too, Santana, about this whole mess."

" _That_ we don't blame you for. I know we're supposed to prescribe to the whole _rules are rules_ thing, but honestly, the rules are dumb. And you'd think now that Sugar's actually going to have her magic, it would be _less_ of an issue that you lived with her."

"It was. But they were going to turn her mother into a ball of wax, if I got off without punishment…so I made a deal with Sue. A hundred years in the book, and she gets to live her life."

"That's sweet." Santana leans into Brittany, thinking that either one of them would do the same. "But can you appeal the whole thing?"

"There's nothing to appeal, risking the exposure of the entire Other Realm is right up there with World Domination, and I knew it. Not all of us managed to fall in love with pretty witches." Brian winks at Santana, and Brittany grabs the book, threatening to slam it shut. "Hey, Hey! You know you I'm kidding!"

"Still don't think it's funny when you flirt with my wife, thanks."

"Sorry Bri, you've got nothing on your sister. She's _kind of_ the greatest thing in the world."

"Nah." Brittany blushes. "That's you, baby."

"Jeeze, lucky anniversary and you're still gushing all over each other like you used to when we were kids."

"Obviously. This is what real love looks like." Santana tells him.

"Well, I'm glad my kid'll be around it. Seriously though, thank you guys for taking her in, it'll be much better for her than being with Mom and Dad."

"We promised we would if you ever needed us to." Brittany says solemnly. "And we'll have fun."

"I know you will. I've gotta go though, there's a Halloween party on page two-eleven, and just because I'm stuck in this hellhole doesn't mean I'm not going to have fun. I'll catch you tomorrow to talk to Shug?"

"You will." Santana nods. "We have to get ready too. Happy Halloween."

When they close the book, they set about to getting everything in order for Sugar's arrival. It doesn't take all that long for them to get ready, and by three o'clock, with Sugar's new room in order, everything related to magic put away, and Kurt warned that he better keep his mouth shut until morning, like he always is when Sugar is around, Brittany and Santana skip the linen closet portal to Brittany's mom's house, and take the barely used car. When Brittany drives anything but a broom—or its more contemporary counterpart, the vacuum cleaner—Santana is a nervous wreck, and she holds under the seat for dear life, her whole body whipping left and right with every turn, forward and back with every acceleration and deceleration. But miraculously, they survive, and Santana quickly yanks the keys out of Brittany's hand in the driveway and assures her that she'll be driving home with Sugar in the car. Brittany grumbles about it a little as they walk to the door, but by the time the door swings open, and Sugar stands on the other side, inexplicably dressed like a cartoon witch, Brittany is done complaining and grins wide.

"Hey Aunt B, Aunt Santana Banana!" Sugar intentionally uses the nickname because she knows they like it, and she quickly hugs them.

"What's with the outfit, kiddo?" Brittany asks, taking in the fact that they're _keeping_ this girl.

"Uh, Aunt B, it's Halloween? I know we have to do like…this family thing that I just learned that, like, _no one_ does but us, but I figured if Grandma wouldn't let me go to the Halloween Dance on the _last night_ at my old school, I'd at least have fun at this lame thing. But Grandma is pissed for some reason, so…I don't know."

"She looks like she just tumbled out of your secret chest of clothes from 1714." Santana whispers, making sure she's quiet enough that Sugar can't hear it, and Brittany flicks her ear. "Your grandma just likes us to dress up, Shug."

"That's the _point_. I _am_ dressing up…just not how she wants me to. It totally sucks you know, my parents both get sent away for work of the same day with like…no notice, so now I've gotta switch schools and live with you guys, I mean, no offense, and Grandma's acting more pissed about a costume than I am over that."

"Maybe she's scared of witches?" Brittany offers, trying to keep a straight face as she says it.

" _Please_ , she practically _is_ a witch. I mean, she has a black cat, and I swear, she talked to Pierce for like…an hour while she was watching TV the other day. Also, I still think it's creepy that she named her cat after Grandpa. Not that I ever met him, but still."

"Sugar, honey, we know everything that's going on is a lot for you." Santana pulls her in for another hug, this time one that is gentle and concerned. "And your grandmother can sometimes be a little…confusing, but we're going to try and make this easy for you if we can."

"We set up your room and everything." Brittany adds. "And I know Santana's just dying to take you to the mall. Maybe tomorrow, as a birthday gift?"

"Since I'm gonna have _zero_ friends at my new school, I guess that would be kinda cool." She softens a little. "You're not the _worst_ to have to live with, I guess. I do like you guys, and it's only a few months, right?"

"Let's…go tell Grandma we're here." Brittany quickly changes the subject, and keeps hold on Santana's hand as she ushers Sugar inside.

The house is decorated in the Pierces' most authentic decorations, just as Brittany likes it, and while Santana has Sugar distracted at the punch bowl, she makes her way over to the cat. Her father had been one of Kurt's underlings—though Brittany is still certain he didn't know totally what he was getting himself into—and as such, he's been sentenced to a hundred years. He does fine in his new form, and actually quite enjoys it, but since he was sentenced before Sugar was born, she hasn't gotten to know him yet. That might be what Brittany is most excited about, knowing that she'll be sixteen. From the time she was a screaming baby, right through her tail pulling phase, her dad has been head over heels for his little Sugar, and it'll be so nice to see them together so soon.

"Hey Dad." Brittany whispers, leaning down to hug him and scratch his ears.

"Happy Halloween, Bee, and happy anniversary too. The big three-one-three, isn't it?" Pierce stretches his paws out in front of him and cocks his head. "You sure coulda skipped this one this year, took Santana on a romantic getaway somewhere. Your mother would've understood."

"We were going to have dinner on Venus and show up late, but…with the Sugar thing…it was better we skipped it."

"I know your brother got himself into some mess, falling in love with Caroline and breaking all the rules, but…that Sugar sure is worth it. You're sure you're okay with this though, Brittany? I know you chose—"

"It's different, Dad, we're good with this. Santana is actually excited, and so am I. I can't wait tI see her first levitation, of to see her face when she finds out you're really her _grandpa_. She thinks Mom's insane talking to you all the time."

"Yeasty!" Brittany hears her mother call out, and Santana laugh off her embarrassment over the time she worked in an army bakery during the Civil War, and fell in a vat of dough so big that even magic couldn't get her out for two hours.

"Why do you always call her that, Grandma?" Sugar asks, rolling her eyes a little.

"Chronic yeast infections." Whitney says flippantly, and Santana's face continues to flame.

"That's not—"

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, honey." Whitney cuts her off, taking Sugar's hat from her head and glaring at it. "Change, now."

"But Grandma!" Sugar whines, trying to get her hat back from the much taller woman. "What about the trick or treaters?"

"Oh, this house is sealed off to _that nonsense_."

"What does that even mean?" Sugar huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It means Pierce will eat them." Whitney retorts, and Pierce lets out a loud _meow_ , flicking Whitney's leg with his tail. "Go, before company gets here."

" _Fiiiiine_." Sugar groans, dramatically making her way to the stairs. Whitney doesn't take her eyes off of her until she's up in the bedroom at the top, and then she turns to Brittany and Santana.

"I'm not trying to be difficult, I _know_ she's having a rough time. I just can't have our entire family showing up to her in _that_ costume. Your brother is already a big enough scandal, and I want her to be sheltered from it."

Brittany and Santana share a look at Whitney's words, and Santana nods, "We do get it. And it'll all be easier in the morning when she understands."

"I wonder what it's _like_ to find out you have magic." Brittany wonders, looking off dreamily. "We always did, Santana's sister's kids are full witch, I feel like…she's going to be beside herself with excitement tomorrow. Santana, babe, we're going to teach her the apple spell first, right?"

"A is for apple, seems like as good a place as any to start. And speaking of Apples—"

" _Still_ against the iPhone." Brittany shakes her head, and a bright camera flashbulb goes off, neatly blinding them both.

'Sorry, just capturing your first little parenting spat." Whitney chuckles, and Brittany rolls her eyes.

"Not a spat, I just hate technology and don't think _any of us_ need cellphones. But if Santana is really set on it, it's fine. We don't _fight_ , Ma. We bicker sometimes, yeah, but we're not gonna be like…those TV families where everyone hates each other all the time. We're not _that_ couple."

"Bee, I was just teasing you. I know how much you love each other. Now get in, you both look really pretty tonight, and this'll be a nice picture to commemorate your lucky anniversary."

"C'mere, baby." Brittany opens her arms, and Santana fits nicely into them, looking up at Brittany with the same adoring eyes she gave her on the day she snuck in and freed six of them from Judge Stoughton's jail cell. Like she's the sun, Brittany always thinks, though she feels the same way in reverse, Santana as her bright, beautiful blood moon. "I kept meaning to tell you in the car how beautiful you looked, but then you'd shriek about a stop sign."

"I hate being the passenger on these mortal contraptions, you know that, Britt."

"I know." She kisses her slowly, ignoring the flashbulbs behind them. "You hated being in my buggy and on my sled, even though I'm _kind of_ safe."

"It's not _you_ I'm worried about, it's the damn car. Have you seen the statistics on car accidents? Speaking of, we are _not_ getting Sugar a car."

"Oh, I totally agree with you on that. She can take the bus to school, better than me, walking uphill with no shoes in the snow."

"You _always_ had shoes." Whitney cackles, putting the camera down. "And you got that story from me. Oh, just look at you two, you're going to be _just fine_."

"I didn't know we ever _weren't_ going to be fine, Ma?" Brittany wrinkles her nose. "I think we've been more than fine for more than three centuries."

"I mean at this guardian thing." She chuffs. "And just so you both know, Sugar already _has_ an iPhone. What century are you living in? Even _I_ have one."

"Brittany doesn't. She still has that Nokia thing, I couldn't even kill it with magic."

"Meanwhile, how many times have I caught you cursing and pointing at your broken iPhone screen?" Brittany teases, tickling under Santana's ribs and making her giggle out loud. "Anyway, Mom, maybe we should get her another costume, let her have one last mortal Halloween, before we turn her life upside down in the morning."

"It's your call, Brittany. When you leave here tonight, I get to go back to just being Grandma. But not that stereotype of a witch nonsense."

"Unicorn?"

"Aww, Britt, she'd be cute as a unicorn." Santana coos, almost as if she's talking about infant Sugar, rather than her teenage self. Then she twitches her finger, and a unicorn onesie appears on the couch with a bow wrapped around it.

"That was fast." Brittany laughs, picking it up just as Sugar stalks back down the stairs in ripped jeans and a cutoff shirt that make Whitney's eyebrows lift. "Sugar, Aunt Santana and I got you a gift for Halloween."

"Did you know other people don't get gifts for Halloween?" She scrunches her face up, in a way that looks very much like Brittany. "Weird, and also totally lame."

"Well, I guess you're lucky then." Santana nudges Brittany's side as she hands over the costume. "Since your grandmother is _afraid_ of witches."

"I'm not—" Whitney starts, but then cuts herself off. "You're right, I am…for the next six hours."

"She's so weird." Sugar whispers between Brittany and Santana, who hold back their laughs. "You got me another costume? How'd you even know that I A. love unicorns, and B. would get in trouble by Grandma?"

"She raised me, I just assume _everyone_ is _always_ in trouble."

"Is this acceptable for me to wear to dinner, Grandma?" Sugar turns to Whitney, holding the onesie up against her body, and grinning widely.

"I'd prefer a dress." She says, and Sugar's face falls before she finishes. "But why not? _Just_ this year though."

"Thank you! Finally, something normal around here!" Sugar bolts back up the stairs, wiggling like a little girl as she does.

Dinner goes off without a hitch…mostly, though Sugar is suspicious of the fixation of every member of the family with Pierce the cat. After dessert is finished, Brittany and Santana help Sugar pack all of her earthly belongings into the trunk of the car, and Whitney, holding Pierce, kisses her goodbye and wishes her a happy Halloween. Santana drives home, panicking the entire way, and when they pull up in front of the house, she silently curses Kurt as lightning strikes in the attic window, letting her know he was up to no good.

Sugar is still in her unicorn costume while they unload her things, though once she's unloaded, she tells her aunts that she's tired, and she retires to her new bedroom. Left alone, Brittany kisses Santana on the stairs, and just stands there, holding her hands. Even after so many years married, they still have these moments sometimes, where they just get lost in each other, and Santana rests her head on Brittany's shoulder, relaxing as she wraps her arms around her waist.

"We could still sneak off to Venus for drinks tonight, if you wanted to." Brittany offers, rubbing Santana's lower back with long fingers. "I feel bad that I didn't get to take you out."

"I didn't get to take _you_ out either, to be fair. And really, it's okay. It's after eleven, and think I'd rather stay home tonight with you. I think we're too old to go zipping off to other planets for drinks, when we've got perfectly good wine in the fridge."

" _Have I told you lately that I love you?_ " Brittany begins to sing, making Santana laugh. "I know, you hate that song. How about this one? _Every little thing she does is magic, everything she do just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on._ "

"If I didn't know about the raging crush you had on me before you saved my life, I'd tell you that song made me sad. _But_ , since we've got a happy ending, I'm happy hearing you sing it. Should we take our wine to the bedroom?"

"Like I'd ever say no to that. How quiet can you be?"

"Quieter than I was when we used to have sex in your parents' hayloft?"

"Should I get out my old pantaloons for you to shove in your mouth?"

"Oh my God." Santana laughs out loud, eyes sparkling and head shaking. "I totally forgot about that. I've gotta say, babe, as much as I love you in those tiny panties you wear now, you were _really_ sexy when you used to strip down out of your petticoats and stand there in those pantaloons with your arms crossed. Kind of my favorite."

"Well, if that's your favorite _me_ era, my favorite _you_ era was the 1940s. I'm sorry, that nurse uniform? Can we maybe pull that back out?"

"Are we role playing as ourselves from the past? Because…I'm not totally opposed to that. Can we get some of that pig's blood _now_?"

"I promise, first thing in the morning, I'm on it."

Santana goes to the kitchen to get the wine, while Brittany goes upstairs, and quickly zaps through four sets of lingerie. Once she's satisfied in black, keeping with the Halloween theme, she sits down on the beg, crossing her legs and putting on her most seductive smirk. When Santana comes in, she nearly drops the bottle of wine, and sputters, forcing Brittany to bite back a laugh.

"No fair. You can't look like this when I'm in a dress I picked out for your grandma." Santana groans, setting down the bottle.

"You've got fingers."

"Wanky." Santana waggles her eyebrows, but takes a cue from Brittany, and points at herself, changing into orange satin panties to contrast Brittany's black.

"Can I put on _Monster Mash_?" Brittany asks, smirking, and Santana shakes her head, giggling.

"Babe, that's the least sexy song in the entire world."

"But it's our song!"

"Our song is _I Feel the Earth Move. Monster Mash_ is the song we one-time had sex to after we snuck out of your grandma's Halloween party like we were seventeen."

"Still, it's sentimental!"

To keep her from going on about _Monster Mash_ , Santana straddles Brittany's lap, and kisses up the column of her neck, making Brittany moan as she does. Santana can't decide if she wants Brittany in the lingerie or out of it, but before she can make a decision, Brittany has her on her back. Not arguing, Santana wraps her legs around Brittany's waist, and pushes up into her. They make out like that for a long time, Santana feeling the dampness between her legs grow, but just as she's about to unhood Brittany's bra and challenge her for dominance, there's a scream, and she bucks her head up, smashing into Brittany's nose.

"Ow! Fuck!" Brittany holds her hand to her face as blood begins to flow from her nose, and a loud shrieking _meow_ comes from outside the door.

"Britt, I'm so sorry!" Santana nearly starts to cry, seeing the blood beteen Brittany's fingers.

"Aunt Britt! Aunt Santana!" Sugar screams, banging on the door. "Help!"

"We're coming!" Santana calls back, quickly zapping both herself and Brittany into the most conservative pajamas they own, and grabbing tissues for Brittany's face. "Fuck, Britt, it's after midnight."

"Shit. Shit. Shit. I can't stop the blood, just, like, get me a sock or something." Brittany groans, as Sugar begins to knock frantically at the door.

"What did you do to my bed?" She shrieks. "Why was I floating?"

Once Brittany has one of her old tube socks held against her nose, Santana struggles to pull the door open, not used to doing it manually, and Sugar stands on the other side. Tears stream down her face, and Kurt rubs at her leg, attempting to placate her. While Brittany continues to try and stop her bloody nose, Santana goes to hug Sugar, who pushes her away.

"Don't touch me! What kind of sick Halloween joke is that? How did you do it? Why would you rig my bed on my first night here? I want to go back to my parents!"

"Sugar, honey, we didn't rig your bed. It's time we have a little bit of a talk."

"What are you talking about? I thought you guys were cool, but I don't want to talk to you in the middle of the night after you did that to me!"

"I _promise_ , Sugar—" Brittany starts, continuing to apply pressure to her face. "I might mess around with your dad, but we wouldn't pull a prank on you, especially not tonight. How about we have some wine—"

"She can't have wine, Britt." Santana gently corrects.

"Right…drinking ages, sorry, I always forget that's a thing." She shakes her head. "Tea. Let me make tea, and we'll explain everything."

Though Sugar attempts to argue with Brittany's request, she slumps over, and follows them down the stairs. While Brittany makes tea, and Santana gets out a box of cookies, Sugar eyes them warily, and Kurt hops up on the table, letting her pet him. Once they're finally all seated, and Brittany's nose has mostly stopped bleeding, she and Santana share a glance, attempting to make sense of how to start.

"Happy Birthday!" Brittany says finally. "You're sixteen today, Shug."

"I…what? Seriously Aunt Britt?"

"It's relevant to the story, sweetheart." Santana promises, though she's not sure she's any good at this whole thing.

"Your father isn't on a business trip." Brittany blurts, and Santana realizes that maybe Brittany isn't any better. "God, sorry, look, I'm just going to spring this all on you, and then we'll talk it out. Your father is a warlock."

"Ha. Ha. Funny. And my mom's a vampiress, right?" Sugar wipes her eyes, looking grimly at Brittany, and begins to stand up. "I'm done with this prank. I'm calling Grandma."

"It's not a prank, Sugar. Your father is a warlock, and me, Aunt Britt, your grandmother, we're all witches. And you're a witch too."

"Right, because of before? Seriously, does Grandma have you punishing me for that stupid costume? Because this isn't funny!"

"They're not trying to be funny." Kurt says from the center of the table, and Sugar screams again, shooing the cat away from her and covering her face.

"Sugar, let's start over. Your father lives in our magic book." Brittany tells her, and Santana shakes her head, covering her face much like Sugar just did. "Wait, give me one more try. Okay. Woo. Your father is a witch, and your mother is a mortal. As a result, _you_ are a witch, but because you're also half-mortal, your powers didn't develop until your sixteenth birthday. What happened tonight was your first levitation. Because it's _kind of_ a little bit against the rules for witches to marry mortals…I don't know, some liability stuff or something, your father got in a lot of trouble, and that's why you were sent to live with us."

"No, really, how long did it take you guys to come up with this? Because it's not even a funny joke!"

"It's not a joke, Sugar, look." Santana points to herself, ending up in a unicorn costume of her own, then doing the same to Brittany. "Less scary if we're unicorns?"

"Oh my God." Sugar gasps. "Oh my God, oh my God. Oh my _God._ "

"Cool, right?" Brittany raises her eyebrows hopefully, but Sugar just shakes her head. Trying to figure out what to do, Brittany holds up a vase. "Look, give your magic a try. Point right here at this, and picture turning it into an apple."

"Not cool!" Sugar gasps. "No! I'm already going to be a freak enough staring a new school right in the middle of junior year, and now you're trying to tell me I'm a _witch_? I don't want to be, take the powers back!"

"We can't do that, honey. They're in you, just like they're in us. We've been doing this for almost three-hundred-fifty years, and sometimes it sucks, but mostly it's pretty great." Santana tells her, turning the vase into an apple, then plucking it from Brittany's hand and taking a bite. "Great."

"You're really not kidding, are you?"

"We're not kidding." Santana tries to squeeze Sugar's hand again.

"I…like…I'm not sure what to even do."

"I was born in the Other Realm, which is basically like, an entire other universe with just witches and warlocks." Brittany begins, catching Santana's nod. "We moved to Salem when I was twelve, because of your grandfather's job. Let's just say, the late sixteenth century was not the time to be a witch in America."

"Okay, so now are you just telling me things to freak me out? Because…Aunt B, trust me, I already am."

"I'm not. I'm just telling you it to make the point that being a witch in this realm was a total adjustment for me. I know it's not the same, but I've managed to get through over three centuries of hiding my powers, I _promise_ you, we'll help you survive high school."

"Did they even _have_ high school when you were sixteen?"

"Well…no, not for girls. But we _did_ have witch trials, so…"

"Britt, honey." Santana shakes her head, figuring this is _not_ the best time to bring that up. "Sugar, remember how your grandma was talking about the house being sealed to trick-or-treaters tonight?"

"I guess? I mean, she talks _a lot,_ so I tune out half the stuff she says."

"Okay, so basically, what I'm saying is that there are tons of protections that'll keep you safe, and the reason you're with us, is because we're going to help you learn how to control your magic, and go through high school _pretty_ normally." Santana promises. "And we're going to have _fun!_ "

"Yeah, sounds like a blast." Sugar rolls her eyes. "Can't I just use this magic, or whatever, to turn back time to before you told me I was a witch? You could just like…tell me you rigged my dumb bed, and we'll pretend this didn't happen."

"We can't do that, honey." Santana bites her lip, realizing this parenting thing is already so much harder than she expected, especially when she doesn't know what to say to make things better.

"Worth a shot. So, I'm just going to be a witch now?"

" _Technically_ you already were." Brittany fidgets in her seat. "But yes, now that you're sixteen, you have your magic, you just have to learn how to use it."

"And _somehow_ , the Witches Council, or, as I like to call it, Council of Dumb Decisions—" Kurt finally speaks again. "Decided these two get to keep all the misfits."

"Shut up, Kurt." Swatting him off the table, Santana sucks her teeth. "Don't listen to him."

"Is this like…I get a talking cat as a birthday gift or something?"

"Not a cat." Kurt mewls from the floor, ego bruised by Santana's swatting. "This is just a totally temporary situation."

"It's a l _ong_ story." Brittany shakes her head. "One that we're not going into tonight."

"God." Sugar rubs her temples, shaking her head as she does. "Is anything going to be normal anymore?"

"Normal is relative." Santana shrugs. "There are so many mortal things that we're just…totally flabbergasted by, eventually, all of the witch stuff will feel perfectly ordinary to you."

"Babe, you're cute when you say _flabbergasted._ "

"Seriously though, Aunt Santana…that's like…a really old word."

"Hey, I've lived through a _lot_ of words. I still forget if we're supposed to say neat-o, or groovy, or swell…"

"Awesome…or sweet…or even just cool." Sugar corrects her.

"So, Shug, do you want to try some magic tonight?" Brittany asks, still mooning at Santana.

"No, not really. I think I just…want to go to bed. There's probably a possibility that this is a dream bought on by the bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that I ate in the pantry at Grandma's, so I'm going to like…just sleep that off, and I'm still a witch in the morning, then I'm probably going to have to accept it."

"Do you want us to come up with you?" Santana offers.

"Will you?" Sugar's voice is small and helpless, almost like she's much younger than she really is, and both Santana and Brittany feel a sort of pang in their chests.

"Of course, honey. Come on."

Sugar begins up the stairs, and they follow behind, Brittany's hand on the small of Santana's back. When they get into the bedroom, Kurt curls up on the trunk at the foot of the bed, and Sugar looks around, taking it all in. Nothing is upset in the room, it all looks the same as when she went to bed the first time, but everything is different, after what she learned. Hesitating for a moment, she takes a breath, and then she goes to Santana, wrapping her arms around her, and tucking her face into her shoulder. From behind, Brittany wraps her arms around both of them, and they hold Sugar like that until she makes the choice to breakaway herself, teary-eyed, and exhausted looking.

"It's gonna be okay, kid." Brittany tells her, stroking her hair one last time.

"Promise?"

"I do." She nods, looking at the nod that comes from Santana.

When Sugar gets back into bed, Santana can't help but tuck the blanket over her, though she knows she'll likely levitate again, and be without it. Brittany turns out the lights for her, and they stand there just watching, half-expecting Sugar to open her eyes and roll them. But instead, she falls asleep, and Santana leans her head on Brittany's shoulder, just having a little bit of a moment as they see their niece before them.

"Do you think we're terrible at this?" Brittany asks, her voice the softest whisper.

"I don't. I think it's complicated and confusing for her right now, but she's a _teenager,_ so everything is complicated and confusing anyway. We'll get the hang of dealing with it. And you know, I really think I like having her here."

"I know it's only been like…three hours, but I do too. You're cute when you talk to her."

"I'm cute always." Santana rolls her tongue, and Brittany laughs, kissing her temple. "This anniversary was definitely _different_ , but it was good different. The start of the next phase of our lives."

"Two middle-aged witches and a teenager."

"Call CBS, I _think_ we have a series for them."

"We both know Sugar will be the interesting one." Brittany giggles, pulling Santana so she can kiss her lips. "May as well call it _Sugar the Teenage Witch_."

"That's cute, Britt."

"Obviously, I did come up with it."

"I love you." Santana sighs, leading Brittany out of Sugar's bedroom and into their own, using her finger to close the door behind you.

"I love you too. Now…no more interruptions."


End file.
